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Slow to MoveI have to start over,
It's been some years,
I keep moving my feet
just enough to scale an inch.
How long before I make it?
How long before progress comes?
I'm afraid to take bigger steps,
I don't know how to start over
when I thought I had it in my hands.
There was one after him,
he was my past.
Why do I keep doing that?
What does the past offer me?
Does the heartbreak ever change?
How long before progress comes,
when I don't allow myself to look back?
Can't make a future from failure.
They lied to me to get in.
Can't make a future lacking foundation.
They never wanted to give back.
Is this the fear that's stopping me?
Give again to lose?
Is this the fear that slows me down?
If I'm vulnerable,
Will there be more abuse?
Please don't send a wounded soul,
I can't deal.
Please don't send somebody so hurt,
That's all the love they deal.
I just need stability,
I just want some kind of peace.
It's tacky and cliche,
I'm tired of walking away.
To My DarlingsApologies for letting you gather dust.
Pardons for starving you to death,
while other pieces live and breathe.
I don't know what to say
although you've been here the longest.
You'll haunt me 'til death.
Memory: 8 Years Old--Kool-Aid Popsicle Failure I was known as the "Concoction Queen" in the house. I mixed the contents of the bathroom counter in the bathroom sink, mixed cranberry sauce with 7UP at Thanksgiving, and hot sauce went with everything. I loved putting everyday foods and sauces together to make my own snacks. Savory went with sweet, spicy went with smoky. My heart, however, belonged to all things sour and grape.
Sour candy was marvelous. As a child of the 90's, it was the most coveted of sweets at the local corner shop. Sure, sour apple was nice. Sour fruit punch was like winning a million bucks. Sour grape? That was the priceless stuff. The same applied to grape soda. This was my weakness. I'm amazed at the age of 28 to have only two cavities to show for my sugar-crazed days. Grape soda was a lover, a friend, and the best part of Summer. It was my top request at barbeques. It was the stuff that made me drool. Nothing could beat the taste of a freshly slushed a frozen grape soda.
Ah, but soda wasn't a
When there is sadness.
When there is joy.
Helplessly grasp at moments of nothing.
Why not celebrate when I'm not hurting,
Licking gaping sores
Because of him?
Was it worth it?
Not Like MomIn a private war to avoid being like her,
I gathered everything she once possessed.
Her personality runs through my veins,
Her spirit's found some new eternal rest.
The individual has merged with who she was,
I follow art to keep our sacred bond.
I can see,
I know she's a part of me.
Got what I needed,
Didn't get it all.
Her appeal is what I'm lacking after all.
If they see me,
It's by chance.
Invisible to second glance.
Don't know how she won them all,
Don't know how she found the greatest love of them all.
I weaved the fantasy in my head.
If I don't fall in love,
I'm better off dead.
I wiped the dry tears from my eyes.
She was the full package,
I'm just an eight-year surprise.
She has beauty in her face,
My body's a disgrace.
She was everything he wanted,
I'm the one they throw away...
If I could do them like she did,
If I could make the right moves,
If I could make somebody happy,
Life would be so good.
If everything was perfect,
Sorrow would fade away.
Perhaps I'm not lik
Phone Lovin'He makes me do bad things,
While he's just sitting there,
While we're just having a light chat.
He makes me thing wild things,
While I play with my hair,
While I contemplate the actual act.
Don't know where the fire comes,
Can't really complain.
Once the phone's outta my hands,
I'm callin' his name.
Makes me think nasty things,
Orgasmic, erotic things.
Why does this man have the power?
He goes deep with his voice,
Goes deeper with his love,
Miles mean nothing to us.
Such a tease,
Such a lovely tease--
Why must you talk to me that way?
Smiling on the phone,
Make me submit.
I'll get on my knees any day.
I want this body to melt into yours,
Want those hands all over me.
Set for the cosmos,
Over the sea,
He makes me do naughty things.
The Voice of HeavenThe sweetest music fills the atmosphere
The voice of heaven itself
Surfing on waves of air
Sound so pleasant, beyond orgasmic
Listen to the subtle facets of its audible splendor
Every measure, every crescendo, every lick
Everyone is savored
Never have ears been so graced
Graced by such a precious lullaby
Transcendent silvery tones caress the soul
Knees begin to buckle
Everything fades in haunting mist
Oh, harmonious ballad!
The notes sparkle along their silky path
So smooth, so lovely
Sing them forever
Sing sweet love,
Your beautiful heart let shine!
Light up the darkness
Play your songs again and again
Play your songs in my heart
In the heart you've captured and chained to yours
If only everyone could know their magick
Those notes will resonate in me til I die and ever after
I love you, voice of heaven
two can play at this gamehelp.
my heart beats
and my lungs
swell with air,
but I swore
my life would
cease to be
if I could
no longer call
you mine. please
By Suzanne Karbach 27th July 2014
sugarclawyou sang, watermystic
rosehips swaying two hearts
to a shell
and i, niagara
fell beneath, earth tesselate
seeping in infinite squares
but this is no desert love
story you are telling, lies
stretched over acres
o' your sweetscented mouth
One Year // TimelessOne Year // Timeless
I wanted to write something,
About being with you for
A whole year.
But I can’t. (So I won’t)
Because it doesn’t feel like
A whole year.
I feel like I just met you,
I feel like I’ve always known you,
There is something meaningless about
“A whole year”.
It feels timeless.
One Year // Timeless
I know from eighth grade Science Class
That energy cannot be
Created (nor destroyed).
This, I’m quite sure, is the case with how I feel about you.
I think this feeling goes beyond me,
It stretches back through time,
And has lived many lives.
It started, I believe, as a far off sun.
All passion and fire and boiling,
Existing that way for many billions of years,
Until it compressed and
All that energy released into the cosmos,
Undamaged, undestroyed, (uncreated).
For a while after that, it existed as the stars.
Every last twinkling one in the sky,
It nestled a bit of itself into.
Head and HeartYou leaned into my touch
So that your head
And all its precious thoughts
Were cradled in my palms.
My heart raced with longing.
Hours later, the scent
Of your hair gel
Lingers on my hands,
You're not merely a figment
Of my imagination.
He Compliments MeMy complimentary half;
One who makes me feel so many things,
One who makes my days a little better,
One who loves every flaw I hate--
Why do I deserve such a sacred gift?
My complimentary half;
One who swells my girlish pride,
One who exchanges secrets to hide,
Where have you been all along?
My complimentary half;
Person who gives me so much love,
Person who burns with white-hot desire,
Man who understands the delicacy of both--
What's the fastest way to get to you?
My complimentary half;
Sweeter than old hometown candy,
More beautiful than wildflowers dancing in the yard,
As wonderful as the first warm day of the season--
When can we start our new life?
Teenage TaoismGiving birth is the closest I’d ever felt to dying.
Before that, my near death experiences had consisted only of my silent announcement of pregnancy—silent, being that my social media accounts were all deleted almost simultaneously and I never returned to school in the fall, saying without really saying that I had caught the malicious disease of “teenage pregnancy”. I’m sure the whisper spread in the hallways like the Bubonic Plague. That September, sitting at home on what would have been the first day of my senior year, I imagined friends I’d never talk to again saying “she was only seventeen, and so full of life!” at my absence in the cafeteria tables, as if they were attending my funeral instead of talking about me behind my back.
"Full of life," I had snorted then, folding a never ending stream of what had once been my own baby clothes. "Literally."
I walked around like a zombie for the months of my pregnancy, deciding t
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