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Memory: 8 Years Old--Kool-Aid Popsicle Failure I was known as the "Concoction Queen" in the house. I mixed the contents of the bathroom counter in the bathroom sink, mixed cranberry sauce with 7UP at Thanksgiving, and hot sauce went with everything. I loved putting everyday foods and sauces together to make my own snacks. Savory went with sweet, spicy went with smoky. My heart, however, belonged to all things sour and grape.
Sour candy was marvelous. As a child of the 90's, it was the most coveted of sweets at the local corner shop. Sure, sour apple was nice. Sour fruit punch was like winning a million bucks. Sour grape? That was the priceless stuff. The same applied to grape soda. This was my weakness. I'm amazed at the age of 28 to have only two cavities to show for my sugar-crazed days. Grape soda was a lover, a friend, and the best part of Summer. It was my top request at barbeques. It was the stuff that made me drool. Nothing could beat the taste of a freshly slushed a frozen grape soda.
Ah, but soda wasn't a
When there is sadness.
When there is joy.
Helplessly grasp at moments of nothing.
Why not celebrate when I'm not hurting,
Licking gaping sores
Because of him?
Was it worth it?
Not Like MomIn a private war to avoid being like her,
I gathered everything she once possessed.
Her personality runs through my veins,
Her spirit's found some new eternal rest.
The individual has merged with who she was,
I follow art to keep our sacred bond.
I can see,
I know she's a part of me.
Got what I needed,
Didn't get it all.
Her appeal is what I'm lacking after all.
If they see me,
It's by chance.
Invisible to second glance.
Don't know how she won them all,
Don't know how she found the greatest love of them all.
I weaved the fantasy in my head.
If I don't fall in love,
I'm better off dead.
I wiped the dry tears from my eyes.
She was the full package,
I'm just an eight-year surprise.
She has beauty in her face,
My body's a disgrace.
She was everything he wanted,
I'm the one they throw away...
If I could do them like she did,
If I could make the right moves,
If I could make somebody happy,
Life would be so good.
If everything was perfect,
Sorrow would fade away.
Perhaps I'm not lik
Phone Lovin'He makes me do bad things,
While he's just sitting there,
While we're just having a light chat.
He makes me thing wild things,
While I play with my hair,
While I contemplate the actual act.
Don't know where the fire comes,
Can't really complain.
Once the phone's outta my hands,
I'm callin' his name.
Makes me think nasty things,
Orgasmic, erotic things.
Why does this man have the power?
He goes deep with his voice,
Goes deeper with his love,
Miles mean nothing to us.
Such a tease,
Such a lovely tease--
Why must you talk to me that way?
Smiling on the phone,
Make me submit.
I'll get on my knees any day.
I want this body to melt into yours,
Want those hands all over me.
Set for the cosmos,
Over the sea,
He makes me do naughty things.
TMFITripping the line between truth and pure fuckery,
Squirming and writing to wonder--
"Was the lesson understood?"
Some take the pleasure of making pain for others.
One can understand,
Yet make the same "mistake" 3 times over.
Odd thresholds for pain make strange bedfellows,
Makes conversation lopsided,
Makes information come undone.
Demise waits in the background.
Are you sure you want to go there?
Think again before you dig a little deeper.
UserSometimes it takes years to put the pieces together.
I found my epiphany the other day.
Everything came back in a perfect circle,
Lesson learned and it's time to pack it away.
I chose you over him just for the convenience,
You over him,
'Cause you lived across the bridge.
It started out as comfort,
Transformed into love,
Then it broke me as soon as I formed a habit.
Maybe you knew,
Maybe you knew,
I let it die.
For years I wondered what I did wrong,
Forgetting the sins of my past.
For years I pined for another man
While sleeping in your tattooed arms.
Karma threw me on my ass,
Didn't have the slightest clue.
Four years later, I think I understand...
What happened to me was because of what I did to you.
I don't have the chance to apologize.
Ships sailed so long ago.
Atoned for the suffering,
Left with the scars,
This is just a note to fate:
All actions have their reactions.
I regret the mistake,
I regret using you,
Still it brought me back to him.
Hybrid Love-TitanI come from a Titan,
I come from a lover,
We're born from a family of tactics--
What happened to me?
I learned all the secrets,
Absorbed all the tricks,
Forgot everything once I got older.
Now he's lookin' at me,
Just hang his head in shame.
Now she's lookin' down,
Wonderin' why I am this way.
They're both lookin' over,
They've both got nothin' to say.
Their Titan-love baby
Just wants to slip away.
She's full of the good stuff,
She's stuffed with the bad.
Sensitive as a flower,
With the hard looks of her dad.
Sometimes life just happens,
Sometimes fate's just cruel.
Sometimes everything falls apart,
'Cause self-inflicted feels so...
I come from a Titan,
I come from a lover,
One is my strong father,
One is my soft mother.
I became the hybrid,
Not sure what I am.
Love's gone into the sunset,
I'll never see it again.
Thin Skinned Chi GirlSouthside can't hold me tonight,
Don't know what to say.
Tears in my eyes all dried up,
Try to pack my thin-skinned pain away.
Pandora's Box right in my face,
Directness knockin' me back today.
What did I do?
I didn't sign up for this.
Back of my head asking all kinds of questions,
Worth shitted on,
Special's just another word pasted on,
Smile's dying with the setting sun.
Keep it to yourself,
That's all I'm asking.
Your honesty's a little too bizzare for me.
I would be honored
If it didn't make me feel like I wanna die.
Ball of CottonConfidence
Kiss the sky.
This is the dream coming to life.
It's set in stone,
Fate's being kind to me,
I've got someone who cares.
What if doubt drops by?
Dark thoughts start talking to me.
Why can't I leave some things alone?
Suddenly reassurance shuts down.
Consolation makes no sound.
What if I'm not everything he wants?
What if I've got nothing he needs?
What if I'm so problematic,
He's better off alone?
I'm a ball of meaningless cotton,
He's in a world all his own.
Young LoveI was so young
when I first heard
the beats of my heart
pulse lightly upon my ribcage
My toothpick bones,
to the powerful palpitations
And I was still young
when I heard again
the throbs of my heart
pound forcefully upon my ribcage
My metal bar bones,
to the butterfly-wing beats
So you better hurry, boy
as my ribs are becoming
thick as steel
and you’ll soon need a metal cutter
to reach my heart
(And I don’t want to become damaged in the process of being loved).
how to love a girl who can't love herself.get lost under the sun, then
fight the break of dawn.
i am nothing in the dark,
so show me
walk with me,
to the secret place
where i met you
(those turquoise city dreams)
when the sun goes down,
when the moon shines,
(girl of the ocean, let's go
somewhere only we know.)
please, i beg you.
winter me gently, because the earth laughs in flowers, and
red red roses, they're so beautifully
from the back of my throat, i promisethe world is made of talking trees and cloudy water,
and the way you look at me
i'm no artist but i think i've painted your voice at the base of my neck
it's not something you can come back from
and tomorrow won't be a victory any more than it will be a loss
they don't make maps for a place like thisI'm stuck somewhere
between great rollings hills
and a sweet-calm sea,
but the air doesn't smell
of salt or dandelions.
Only this heavy
cloying breeze that sticks
in my throat and fills
my lungs with the sharp tang
of musk and pine
reminds me that I'm
not far from home. And
in the distance there
is a rolling clamor;
a whistle crying long and low.
But there are no signs,
Though I've wandered days
through this strange
traipsing across smooth plains
and sharp plateaus, I've
never crossed the
same path twice...
One thought rings true in
this foreign land:
dear, don't be alarmed
I only lose my bearings so thoroughly,
only become so
What Shall He Be?Oh what shall he be - the one to steal my heart?
Many a man is there in this vast world,
But what sort should I desire?
My sisters have oft said to see him in my thoughts.
To know him there and appease my dreams.
I am slow to act, for what reality could compare to a woman's dream?
But, alas, I do believe
That even I find myself dreaming of him now and again.
And so you ask, what sort of man is he?
Well listen close, for here I shall tell of what sort he would be:
He should be tall and graceful, elegant and fair;
With sweet golden locks of his curly hair.
And have blue eyes that sparkle in the light
Of the sun, bright, as does his smile shine.
His tender words and gentle touch
Would so sooth my heart and troubled mind.
His strong arms would hold me fast in the darkest nights
And chase away my fears 'til dawn.
His sweet lips would kiss me tenderly, lovingly just so.
He would have a heart of pure gold, and be loyal and good.
And looking into his eyes, he would see my soul
And I, giving my
to hell with goodwill (que sera sera)his tale-weaving tongue
tastes of crisp linen
drenched in bergamot
locked in by lips
of brown sugar that bubble
a blueberry melody
on his siren songs
drunken on an unearthly state
i drown my earl grey eyes
refusing to abandon the atrocity
that is his bedspread
his vesuvius temper
keep me on the verge of tears
on the ledge of limitations
i know all too well
i can never repel his touch
his gaze glazes over my beehive body
and i break open
raw and wild
sucking on the saccharine serendipity
of seeing this scene
in some long lost dream
his lambent limbs
though scathingly swollen
spread far and wide
such is my
i am peeled
past my quivering
he polishes and pencils
past my profanities
his life oeuvre is
to have me obliterated
come what may
the desolation of this delusion
will one day leave me
to inferno with goodw
Sleeping VolcanoWhen you kiss me
thousand little needles
pierce my skin
delight and pain
both burning calmly
like sleeping volcano
slowly consumed by
heat and fire
and I bleed
poison and nectar
embraced by your need
and even if
we grow distant and old
fire burns out and lava turns to stone
my blood keeps
screaming for your lips
I won't forgetI will always remember
you quietly waiting in the corridors
and opening doors for me to pass through
you drifting in and out of office spaces
and as we walked with matching paces
your smile would quietly etch itself into my memories
of what we were when we were not together.
I will always remember the feelings I wanted to forget
as I walked the limits of darkness every night,
my loneliness like a silhouette
that knew no respite
from the resounding cries
of the kookaburras in the trees
weeping for the heart that wanted to be free
to be with the you
who could not be with me.
I will always remember the voice inside my head
uttering a love that could not be said
across the oceans and the miles
that stretched like a chasm before us
but it was never a distance we did not surmount--
each night a transgression of space and time,
a compression of our imaginations and our minds.
I will never forget these slivers of a past
that used to haunt us with the pain of our non-existence
in a reality we'd
He Compliments MeMy complimentary half;
One who makes me feel so many things,
One who makes my days a little better,
One who loves every flaw I hate--
Why do I deserve such a sacred gift?
My complimentary half;
One who swells my girlish pride,
One who exchanges secrets to hide,
Where have you been all along?
My complimentary half;
Person who gives me so much love,
Person who burns with white-hot desire,
Man who understands the delicacy of both--
What's the fastest way to get to you?
My complimentary half;
Sweeter than old hometown candy,
More beautiful than wildflowers dancing in the yard,
As wonderful as the first warm day of the season--
When can we start our new life?
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Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More