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Memory: 8 Years Old--Kool-Aid Popsicle Failure I was known as the "Concoction Queen" in the house. I mixed the contents of the bathroom counter in the bathroom sink, mixed cranberry sauce with 7UP at Thanksgiving, and hot sauce went with everything. I loved putting everyday foods and sauces together to make my own snacks. Savory went with sweet, spicy went with smoky. My heart, however, belonged to all things sour and grape.
Sour candy was marvelous. As a child of the 90's, it was the most coveted of sweets at the local corner shop. Sure, sour apple was nice. Sour fruit punch was like winning a million bucks. Sour grape? That was the priceless stuff. The same applied to grape soda. This was my weakness. I'm amazed at the age of 28 to have only two cavities to show for my sugar-crazed days. Grape soda was a lover, a friend, and the best part of Summer. It was my top request at barbeques. It was the stuff that made me drool. Nothing could beat the taste of a freshly slushed a frozen grape soda.
Ah, but soda wasn't a
When there is sadness.
When there is joy.
Helplessly grasp at moments of nothing.
Why not celebrate when I'm not hurting,
Licking gaping sores
Because of him?
Was it worth it?
Not Like MomIn a private war to avoid being like her,
I gathered everything she once possessed.
Her personality runs through my veins,
Her spirit's found some new eternal rest.
The individual has merged with who she was,
I follow art to keep our sacred bond.
I can see,
I know she's a part of me.
Got what I needed,
Didn't get it all.
Her appeal is what I'm lacking after all.
If they see me,
It's by chance.
Invisible to second glance.
Don't know how she won them all,
Don't know how she found the greatest love of them all.
I weaved the fantasy in my head.
If I don't fall in love,
I'm better off dead.
I wiped the dry tears from my eyes.
She was the full package,
I'm just an eight-year surprise.
She has beauty in her face,
My body's a disgrace.
She was everything he wanted,
I'm the one they throw away...
If I could do them like she did,
If I could make the right moves,
If I could make somebody happy,
Life would be so good.
If everything was perfect,
Sorrow would fade away.
Perhaps I'm not lik
Phone Lovin'He makes me do bad things,
While he's just sitting there,
While we're just having a light chat.
He makes me thing wild things,
While I play with my hair,
While I contemplate the actual act.
Don't know where the fire comes,
Can't really complain.
Once the phone's outta my hands,
I'm callin' his name.
Makes me think nasty things,
Orgasmic, erotic things.
Why does this man have the power?
He goes deep with his voice,
Goes deeper with his love,
Miles mean nothing to us.
Such a tease,
Such a lovely tease--
Why must you talk to me that way?
Smiling on the phone,
Make me submit.
I'll get on my knees any day.
I want this body to melt into yours,
Want those hands all over me.
Set for the cosmos,
Over the sea,
He makes me do naughty things.
TMFITripping the line between truth and pure fuckery,
Squirming and writing to wonder--
"Was the lesson understood?"
Some take the pleasure of making pain for others.
One can understand,
Yet make the same "mistake" 3 times over.
Odd thresholds for pain make strange bedfellows,
Makes conversation lopsided,
Makes information come undone.
Demise waits in the background.
Are you sure you want to go there?
Think again before you dig a little deeper.
UserSometimes it takes years to put the pieces together.
I found my epiphany the other day.
Everything came back in a perfect circle,
Lesson learned and it's time to pack it away.
I chose you over him just for the convenience,
You over him,
'Cause you lived across the bridge.
It started out as comfort,
Transformed into love,
Then it broke me as soon as I formed a habit.
Maybe you knew,
Maybe you knew,
I let it die.
For years I wondered what I did wrong,
Forgetting the sins of my past.
For years I pined for another man
While sleeping in your tattooed arms.
Karma threw me on my ass,
Didn't have the slightest clue.
Four years later, I think I understand...
What happened to me was because of what I did to you.
I don't have the chance to apologize.
Ships sailed so long ago.
Atoned for the suffering,
Left with the scars,
This is just a note to fate:
All actions have their reactions.
I regret the mistake,
I regret using you,
Still it brought me back to him.
Hybrid Love-TitanI come from a Titan,
I come from a lover,
We're born from a family of tactics--
What happened to me?
I learned all the secrets,
Absorbed all the tricks,
Forgot everything once I got older.
Now he's lookin' at me,
Just hang his head in shame.
Now she's lookin' down,
Wonderin' why I am this way.
They're both lookin' over,
They've both got nothin' to say.
Their Titan-love baby
Just wants to slip away.
She's full of the good stuff,
She's stuffed with the bad.
Sensitive as a flower,
With the hard looks of her dad.
Sometimes life just happens,
Sometimes fate's just cruel.
Sometimes everything falls apart,
'Cause self-inflicted feels so...
I come from a Titan,
I come from a lover,
One is my strong father,
One is my soft mother.
I became the hybrid,
Not sure what I am.
Love's gone into the sunset,
I'll never see it again.
Thin Skinned Chi GirlSouthside can't hold me tonight,
Don't know what to say.
Tears in my eyes all dried up,
Try to pack my thin-skinned pain away.
Pandora's Box right in my face,
Directness knockin' me back today.
What did I do?
I didn't sign up for this.
Back of my head asking all kinds of questions,
Worth shitted on,
Special's just another word pasted on,
Smile's dying with the setting sun.
Keep it to yourself,
That's all I'm asking.
Your honesty's a little too bizzare for me.
I would be honored
If it didn't make me feel like I wanna die.
Ball of CottonConfidence
Kiss the sky.
This is the dream coming to life.
It's set in stone,
Fate's being kind to me,
I've got someone who cares.
What if doubt drops by?
Dark thoughts start talking to me.
Why can't I leave some things alone?
Suddenly reassurance shuts down.
Consolation makes no sound.
What if I'm not everything he wants?
What if I've got nothing he needs?
What if I'm so problematic,
He's better off alone?
I'm a ball of meaningless cotton,
He's in a world all his own.
hyenas make the best lovers.i need to stop looking
for death in every body
my fingers touch.
i have been force fed
old lovers, & slices
of the moons lying dust
i am messy poems;
i am fractured confessions.
i am laughter
my jaws ache
with the taste of
i am still hungry.
give me your sugar;
I will share my breath.
you are still made of starstuff,
& i am no longer caged.
PretendingYou, full and complete you, you have become my strength and my talisman for all times...
You, and again you, you let I wrecked just in you…
You, my madness is you, you tie me to your body and do not let me go...
You, inside me, between every atom, between every cell you live among...
I say all the time: fear not, there are songs that will never know who sings...
Those kisses never know who prints them on your lovely lips...
You nail down your dreamy eyes and tenderly ask me: Are you crying?
No, I answer. Dried my eyes are... to the bottom you can look into them.
If you get lost, breathe me and you will find you.
The truth is that I beg you to remember that this that born in my mouth, this awakening in my eyes, will sleep latency in your soul.
Undoubtedly you will become the most beautiful and sad fisherwoman of Stars.
I'm hiding my will to live, of my desire to live for you.
Maybe I can lose myself in the eyes of the person asking for a miracle, but it is certain that, I want to
StockholmBut my heart beats for you alone
You are not
You are ever watchful
Hoping for devotion
My wandering heart
Beating for you
My SunlightYou are my sun,
My only light,
As you fade,
The moon is there,
A memory of you,
Of the darkness,
Before your dawn.
You are the breeze,
That kisses my face,
Those tender lips,
That rushing embrace.
You are the grass,
Beneath my feet,
You hide my tears,
You support my weight.
You are the last,
One for me,
There was many before,
But they were never the same.
With you its right,
With you its love,
And if tonight,
I come above.
I'll see your glory,
From the moon,
From the memory,
Of this afternoon.
Puppet String SymphonyHere come the snares,
wrenching at my heart;
like my tongue can’t find the words to say.
I've been resurrecting your skeletons,
just to place broken flesh over it and watch it all decay…
…scratching at freshly picked scars and rose petals,
while digging up old habits and hatchets;
just so I can whistle a tune so tragic.
Here comes the wind,
stomping at my lungs;
like my emotions are gasping to be released.
I've been coughing up your cover-ups,
just to place my index finger over it and watch it all cease…
…living in this darkness, sulfur-tipped match tossed in the breeze,
while thinking it’s just not worth the candle;
just so I can hum a song you can’t handle.
Here come the keys,
playing at my mind;
like all eighty-eight demons and angels serving one star.
I've been worshipping my self-inflicted headache,
two times twelve and that’s how many bars…
…I've got to show you the color I feel.
When the puppet string symphony beg
About ArtA sweet poem,
All but a
For the true art called
HowlHe’s a dancer in the dark
With unearthly rhythm
She’s the moon he left to sleep
In a sky without her stars
Like a poem led by lust
In a world of not to happen
Like a symphony of phoenix flights
On a December night
Singing for the ones they laid to rest
On their holy ground
Without an Earth
He’s the wolf
Howling with regrets
In a world of his own madness
She’s the moon
Without a sky to hold her high
In the night
Like the odds are not in favor
Like the sun that conquers
And the moon on someone else's sky
Like the legends we used to fear
Children by the fire’s flames
We used to be believers
In a world without its hope
Dream, boy, dream of wonder
In a world without sparkle
Like stormy days
In a September goodbye story
Of sleepless nights and awaken dreamers
Stars that pierce the sky
Are just children of regrets
Of a love that never happened
But always echoed in the night
I PromiseIt is a painful thought
To know he kissed you,
To know he stole your innocence.
He felt the warmth and comfort of your love,
But manipulated it to lust
And turned that perfect smile I now see,
Into a lifeless vessel
That gave into his
Carefully painted words
He had you
Before I ever knew you,
I'm sorry I wasn't there,
I'm sorry I could not save you.
But look up at me now, love,
Look up at me with those astonishing, crystal eyes
And know that I will love you
Until this heart of mine has given out.
I am your present
And your future;
I will love you for more than your body,
I will love your wild personality,
I will love your motherly instincts,
I will love your acceptance,
I will love your understanding,
I will love your "frustrations",
I will love your timidness,
I will love your stubbornness,
I will love your laughter,
I will love your tears,
I will love your scars,
I will love your flaws,
But most of all;
I will love you.
The GlowThe Glow
Dictated by Puabi
What brings a glow of fire
To a single woman's eyes?
What curves her red lips
Into a joyful smile?
The promise, the delivery,
The receipt of love.
When she was waiting
Such a long while,
And it comes to her heart
In her surprise.
Imagine, when it comes
To a woman like me,
The brightness of the glow
In her eyes.
He Compliments MeMy complimentary half;
One who makes me feel so many things,
One who makes my days a little better,
One who loves every flaw I hate--
Why do I deserve such a sacred gift?
My complimentary half;
One who swells my girlish pride,
One who exchanges secrets to hide,
Where have you been all along?
My complimentary half;
Person who gives me so much love,
Person who burns with white-hot desire,
Man who understands the delicacy of both--
What's the fastest way to get to you?
My complimentary half;
Sweeter than old hometown candy,
More beautiful than wildflowers dancing in the yard,
As wonderful as the first warm day of the season--
When can we start our new life?
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More