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Slow to MoveI have to start over,
It's been some years,
I keep moving my feet
just enough to scale an inch.
How long before I make it?
How long before progress comes?
I'm afraid to take bigger steps,
I don't know how to start over
when I thought I had it in my hands.
There was one after him,
he was my past.
Why do I keep doing that?
What does the past offer me?
Does the heartbreak ever change?
How long before progress comes,
when I don't allow myself to look back?
Can't make a future from failure.
They lied to me to get in.
Can't make a future lacking foundation.
They never wanted to give back.
Is this the fear that's stopping me?
Give again to lose?
Is this the fear that slows me down?
If I'm vulnerable,
Will there be more abuse?
Please don't send a wounded soul,
I can't deal.
Please don't send somebody so hurt,
That's all the love they deal.
I just need stability,
I just want some kind of peace.
It's tacky and cliche,
I'm tired of walking away.
To My DarlingsApologies for letting you gather dust.
Pardons for starving you to death,
while other pieces live and breathe.
I don't know what to say
although you've been here the longest.
You'll haunt me 'til death.
Memory: 8 Years Old--Kool-Aid Popsicle Failure I was known as the "Concoction Queen" in the house. I mixed the contents of the bathroom counter in the bathroom sink, mixed cranberry sauce with 7UP at Thanksgiving, and hot sauce went with everything. I loved putting everyday foods and sauces together to make my own snacks. Savory went with sweet, spicy went with smoky. My heart, however, belonged to all things sour and grape.
Sour candy was marvelous. As a child of the 90's, it was the most coveted of sweets at the local corner shop. Sure, sour apple was nice. Sour fruit punch was like winning a million bucks. Sour grape? That was the priceless stuff. The same applied to grape soda. This was my weakness. I'm amazed at the age of 28 to have only two cavities to show for my sugar-crazed days. Grape soda was a lover, a friend, and the best part of Summer. It was my top request at barbeques. It was the stuff that made me drool. Nothing could beat the taste of a freshly slushed a frozen grape soda.
Ah, but soda wasn't a
When there is sadness.
When there is joy.
Helplessly grasp at moments of nothing.
Why not celebrate when I'm not hurting,
Licking gaping sores
Because of him?
Was it worth it?
Not Like MomIn a private war to avoid being like her,
I gathered everything she once possessed.
Her personality runs through my veins,
Her spirit's found some new eternal rest.
The individual has merged with who she was,
I follow art to keep our sacred bond.
I can see,
I know she's a part of me.
Got what I needed,
Didn't get it all.
Her appeal is what I'm lacking after all.
If they see me,
It's by chance.
Invisible to second glance.
Don't know how she won them all,
Don't know how she found the greatest love of them all.
I weaved the fantasy in my head.
If I don't fall in love,
I'm better off dead.
I wiped the dry tears from my eyes.
She was the full package,
I'm just an eight-year surprise.
She has beauty in her face,
My body's a disgrace.
She was everything he wanted,
I'm the one they throw away...
If I could do them like she did,
If I could make the right moves,
If I could make somebody happy,
Life would be so good.
If everything was perfect,
Sorrow would fade away.
Perhaps I'm not lik
Phone Lovin'He makes me do bad things,
While he's just sitting there,
While we're just having a light chat.
He makes me thing wild things,
While I play with my hair,
While I contemplate the actual act.
Don't know where the fire comes,
Can't really complain.
Once the phone's outta my hands,
I'm callin' his name.
Makes me think nasty things,
Orgasmic, erotic things.
Why does this man have the power?
He goes deep with his voice,
Goes deeper with his love,
Miles mean nothing to us.
Such a tease,
Such a lovely tease--
Why must you talk to me that way?
Smiling on the phone,
Make me submit.
I'll get on my knees any day.
I want this body to melt into yours,
Want those hands all over me.
Set for the cosmos,
Over the sea,
He makes me do naughty things.
Addicted to Messy Kisses (Visual) I want to sit on the
roof top in your boxers and kiss
you while listening to you telling me about
the stars that made the constellations on my
face. I want to kiss you when you photograph me,
because that's what I want to remember: loving you
endlessly and boundlessly. I want to kiss you when you
are too tired and too drunk, and watch you slobbering all
over me, while I laugh in your breath on my lips. I want to
kiss you in libraries, when you'll blush and tell me to sto
organized chaosHis brain's like
reflecting muted light.
His brain is architecturally sound,
with perfect corners
organized into neat sections,
metal cutting the spectrum
into cautious pieces.
He tells me he's nothing.
He tells me that he's grown up
from the cracks in the sidewalk
like a dandelion,
and he's been waiting his whole life
for someone to come along
and blow his fucking head off.
He tells me he comes from a bad place,
and I nod
when all I want to do is shake him
and remind him
that everything beautiful
must grow up out of the dirt.
I wanted to write you a lovesong.i.
Summer rain has nothing
on the sound of your laugh,
little pinpricks of sunshine
lounging across the cobbled
streets of midnight,
cooled grey eyes, shining
tears of nightlights
glowing like stars in your cheeks;
in darkened archways,
hollow stone walls
reverberating through my skull --
back to earth, loving
taking root under the city floor,
breathing across cool hands
in warmer songs, notes
bundled under my sheets
thoughts that last all night
and drift between the rafters
of my chest
wanting at last;
pure, starry sky and
dawn rolls down the mountainside,
turrets and towers
crinkle-eyed smile batters
falling -- falling --
more delicate than down
softly into the clouds.
one life into another
the moon has sunk
into my soul; I am losing
but the bloodl
Lover, I will try to forget you.The moon is braiding
her sighs into my hair
as I tell her 'I
dislike the thought
of being perfect.
Even more because
I always tried for him.'
There is turbulence
in these bones as he
ghosts past me and
into the skyline.
Perhaps it is time
I stop following.
BloodlustIn our private heaven
We satisfy our bloodlust
By breaking each other's skin
With a shinny blade
And tasting the crimson flow
The flow of life
A life of lust and love
The love we feel
For each other
A bloody and guilty love
Of voluntary wounds
And beautiful scars
Our reason to live
Our dirty secret
A secret we both carry
With great pleasure
The only way
We can feel happiness
Two LilliesI found my soul,
in a white lily atop a hill,
a red wine sunset
splashed against the sky.
My heart felt her before
I could see,
the flower strongly rooted
petals blowing with a battle cry
against the wind.
The gusts overtime,
testing and strengthening
the precious growth
roots sewn deep.
I sat beside,
your petals open wide
nothing left to hide,
shades of white
despite the soil you came from.
Yet alone you sit
a secret scent,
for me to enjoy
as I read a book,
and talk to you about everything and nothing.
Late into the night.
dew like tear drops,
and I couldn't take you home with me
but I would return again,
Until the day I join you.
How the waves tasted your anklesSince you are the only sailor
of the sea that my moon-
child eyes so easily bleed,
I crumble to shoreline pieces
every time I press my lips
to half-neglected sea glass,
haunted by visions of the way
you rolled cherries on your tongue.
StarsYou fill me up with bubbles,
dreams and futures floating for me.
Using a line of chalk to draw my life plans on me,
outlining where we can go together.
Stars scribbled across my forehead,
highway across my belly.
Breathing in the cars, making a map of our love.
Peaches and CreamPour me a palette of autumn peach,
blend it in the basin of almond milk,
and let it fuse into my cheeks.
Stir memories of a rustic kiss,
a solemn wooden swing.
A gush of wind and its retreat.
An ounce of rain above my brow.
The sentiment of you and me –
the eyes of burning bronze.
An instant left to cling...
...the original blush
of peaches and cream.
He Compliments MeMy complimentary half;
One who makes me feel so many things,
One who makes my days a little better,
One who loves every flaw I hate--
Why do I deserve such a sacred gift?
My complimentary half;
One who swells my girlish pride,
One who exchanges secrets to hide,
Where have you been all along?
My complimentary half;
Person who gives me so much love,
Person who burns with white-hot desire,
Man who understands the delicacy of both--
What's the fastest way to get to you?
My complimentary half;
Sweeter than old hometown candy,
More beautiful than wildflowers dancing in the yard,
As wonderful as the first warm day of the season--
When can we start our new life?
a dangerous hallucinationThe light coming through the window was bright,
much too bright.
Even though my eyes were closed
I could see it-
The skin of my arms prickled,
sweat dripped from my brow.
It was two in the afternoon but…
the sun was setting
through the window facing east.
I should have seen the hutch,
shelves lined with bone china
decorated with delicate leaves and vines.
I was so thirsty
and reaching for cups that should have been there.
Instead I found a billboard of butterflies,
the colors raging
more than any rainbow
I'd ever seen.
Their wings fluttered and flashed
yet somehow they moved in slow motion.
I wanted to stand,
wanted to reach out and touch them but…
I couldn't move,
and yet I laughed
ignoring my dry mouth
and the tingling in my feet.
There was a tempest
on the rise
and in my blood.
A sugar rush disguised
as a riot of butterflies
and they were swarming me.
There was a small vial
of insulin in my pocket
that I nev
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More